Thursday, December 09, 2004

 

Bush Comes Out!

Banana Slug breaks the biggest story since...well, since the breaking of stories began!
BUSH COMES OUT!

Lure of Homosexual Marriage Simply Too Much


In a Rose Garden Press Conference, President Bush today renounced his heterosexuality, giving in to his inner gay man.

"I have lost the battle that the forces of darkness set into motion," said the President, flanked by his new friends and lovers, The Village People. "The lure of the homosexual lifestyle is simply too much for me - for any man - to resist forever. I warned of this during my Presidential campaign, that if we allowed gay marriage to flourish, that marriage as we know it would be destroyed. I stand as testament to that destruction."

Bush issued a warning to Congress that the Federal ban on gay marriage needs to be enacted quickly or the results could be catastrophic. "It’s too late for me," he said. "I will spend the remainder of my days dancing, decorating and engaging in hot man-man loving. But I ask Congress to act while there is still time - time to save this great nation."

"You must stop gay marriage," urged the President. "Don’t let your sons become like me; I mean, unless they’re really hot or something."
Laura Bush, meanwhile, is joining the WNBA as a groupie.
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