Thursday, January 13, 2005

 

How to get Bush's goat

Speaking of the Rude Pundit, here he is bringing his unique rhetorical gifts to advising the Democrats on their anti-Bush strategy:
Three Simple Strategies For Discrediting Social Security Reform

:::snip:::

3. The Goat Fucker Strategem: Let's tell the joke again, for those who have joined the brigade of rudeness only recently: A man is sitting at a bar, drinking, and he says to no one in particular, "A man can spend his life building bridges. Do they call him John the Bridge Builder? No. A man can spend his life raising crops. Do they call him John the Farmer? No. But you fuck one goat . . ." Applied to politics and culture, it means this: someone can do something so fucked up wrong that it taints that person for the rest of his or her life, no matter what else that person may do. Oh, the many goatfuckers in our midst: Woody Allen, Bill Clinton, and, of course, George W. Bush. Once you state clearly and unambiguously that Iraq has WMDs and that we're gonna find them, when we don't, then you, sir, have fucked the goat.

There is one easy way to defeat Bush on anything, and that means any fucking thing. You have to keep reminding people that Bush is a goat fucker. Once you've fucked a goat, you've lost all credibility. Easy ad: "George Bush said we would find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. In December 2004, the search ended and no weapons were found. George Bush has said there is a crisis in Social Security that can only be solved with privatization. Tell your member of Congress that you can't trust George Bush with your retirement income." And, if this were a perfect world, there'd be a giant image of George Bush fucking the shit out of a goat, its beard flappin' from the fuckin', inside a red circle with a slash through it: no goat fuckers.
Couldn't have put it better myself.

(No, I really couldn't. In fact, I couldn't come close to putting it that well.)

On the other hand - what did that poor goat ever do to you?
Comments:
I wish it were that easy, but the analogy is imperfect. Whereas nothing good can ever come from fucking a goat, Bush can at least say that he got rid of Sadaam. Those who oppose the war can be accused of supporting the old Iraqi status quo: mass graves and rape rooms. How do Democrats run against that?
 
As opposed to the rape rooms and torture of Abu Ghraib and the mass graves of Fallujah?

In any case, this is the fallacy of the false alternative. (Otherwise known as the strawman fallacy). If you oppose Bush's war, you are in favor of Saddam Hussein? Um...why? I want to invade North Korea, and you say that's not a good idea: you must be in favor of Kim Jon Il starving his people and selling nuclear technology - you monster.

Bush and his people said the reason we were invading Iraq was that Saddam had WMD (Rumsfeld even said we knew where they were) and we had to overthrow him before he used them against us or gave them to people who would use them against us. But it turns out Saddam did not have WMD and Bush knew this. That's fucking the goat.

Bush lied about the WMD in Iraq. Why should we trust him on anything else?
 
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Comments: "
I wish it were that easy, but the analogy is imperfect. Whereas nothing good can ever come from fucking a goat, Bush can at least say that he got rid of Sadaam. Those who oppose the war can be accused of supporting the old Iraqi status quo: mass graves and rape rooms. How do Democrats run against that?
 
" "
As opposed to the rape rooms and torture of Abu Ghraib and the mass graves of Fallujah?

In any case, this is the fallacy of the false alternative. (Otherwise known as the strawman fallacy). If you oppose Bush's war, you are in favor of Saddam Hussein? Um...why? I want to invade North Korea, and you say that's not a good idea: you must be in favor of Kim Jon Il starving his people and selling nuclear technology - you monster.

Bush and his people said the reason we were invading Iraq was that Saddam had WMD (Rumsfeld even said we knew where they were) and we had to overthrow him before he used them against us or gave them to people who would use them against us. But it turns out Saddam did not have WMD and Bush knew this. That's fucking the goat.

Bush lied about the WMD in Iraq. Why should we trust him on anything else?
 
" Post a Comment

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